Thoughts on The Dress by The Bride

So this is the first of (hopefully) many posts from The Bride's point of view. Mom has finally brought up The Dress, which was one of the aspects of The Wedding that I had a definite opinion on, and thus, now feel qualified to write about.

As Mom said in her earlier posts, she had some pretty strong feelings about what The Dress should look like and what it should represent. I'm glad that I didn't know Mom's thought on using The Dress as a Statement while we were choosing it - I have the feeling I would have been far less willing to compromise had I known. But that's beside the point. We can safely say that this was one area where I planted my feet and was very stubborn.

The clashes over The Dress began even before I was engaged. The first one I remember happened while we were driving to the reception site for a dear friend's wedding. We were discussing her ceremony, her dress and decorations, etc., when the topic of The Dress came up. The conversation went something like this:

Mom: Really, your dress can be whatever you want... it's your dress.

Me: Umm... I've been thinking that I'd like a strapless dress...

Mom: No! Absolutely not! I haven't seen a strapless dress yet that the bride wasn't pulling it up every five minutes. And no one wants to look at your armpits! Besides, a strapless dress is so immodest. I want you to be modest for your wedding day.

Me: Well, I'd like to at least try on a strapless before we say absolutely not. I've also seen some dresses that have bands of color in them - along the hems or at the necklines. I think those are really cool. Like, there was this one dress in a magazine that had a band of royal blue with silver beads at the waist. It was gorgeous!

Mom: Haha! I don't think there should be color in your wedding dress. You're supposed to look pure and innocent, not like you're heading to an evening gala!

Me: [Begins laughing] So my dress can be whatever I want, huh?

That was the start. We didn't really talk about The Dress again 'til after I was engaged. By then, I had a very clear picture in my head of what I wanted.

I thought that this would be enough coverage...

The fingerless gloves did not appease Mom's sense of modesty though, so that idea was quickly scrapped and the search for a dress that I would wear and that she could tolerate began anew.

We went through pages and pages and pages of wedding gowns online. Almost all of the ones that Mom liked had high, ruffly necks and long sleeves that were cuffed at the wrist.

Pretty...in the '70's. Could we bring our search into the 21st century please?

'Round and 'round we went. It was hard at first to find any middle ground. We were united in what we didn't like (most of the time); it was finding what we both liked that was the problem. At one point, after a particularly fruitless foray through the photo gallery that is the internet, in a fit of pique I cried out, "That's it! I'm walking down the aisle in a Jessica Rabbit dress! Bright red with a slit up to my hip, a neckline to my navel, and a back that goes down to my rear!" My mother looked at me aghast, and appealed to my father (the poor man had walked past the door), "Talk to your daughter!"

In the end, we did reach a compromise that we were both quite happy with. I got my desired lack of ruffly necklines and cuffed sleeves, and Mom got her modest dress. But I shall detail that odyssey later.