Asking For Help

My first suggestion for a bride is to get help! Help will be vital to your success, strength, and sanity! Obviously, I can’t dictate that it should be your mother who is that help since not every bride has a mother or, if she does, she may not have a good relationship with her mother. But if you have a mother whom you love and get along with she will probably appreciate being asked to help!

Your mother's friends will be invaluable helpers.

To be honest, we didn’t have to ask for much help because so many friends were  eager to be of assistance as soon as the engagement was announced. Much of the reason our wedding cost so little is because of the many items loaned or given to us by friends and family. Many brides are of an age where several of their friends have recently married, which was the case with us, and those ladies are looking for someone to whom they may pass on their tulle!

And many of my friends, former mothers-of-the-brides themselves, had a great deal of wisdom to pass on to me not only regarding the logistics of throwing a huge party aka wedding, but also how to survive the (happy) stress of everything leading up to The Day.

Someone out there has a load of tulle they want you to use!

Your own friends and the friends of your mother will also have friends who possess a variety of talents. From someone who knows exactly how to pin on a corsage to the person who makes fantastic punch. From the creative seamstress who can help you with any number of sewing tasks to the young man who is willing to drive your aunt to the reception, I guarantee there is a wealth of help and information within your circle of acquaintance.

It's help with obscure details, like removing the handrail from the altar area before the ceremony, that is so needed and appreciated.

To sum up, we were never lacking in the help department and it was a good thing. The next step was to make a list of all that we wanted done and consider those best suited to complete those tasks. For example, we had already decided that we would provide the food for the reception dinner ourselves rather than hire a caterer. I’ll talk more about that later. I immediately called my own mother to see if she would make her delicious potato salad for 200 guests. She was flabbergasted! At 78 years of age the prospect of peeling that many potatoes was overwhelming. With regret, she declined. At first I was bewildered because my mom is such a capable person but, seriously, I wasn’t thinking of her age, I was just thinking that she was my capable mom! So, bad move on my part! Anyway, when assigning tasks it’s a smart idea to have a good Plan A but also a solid Plan B and C.

Ask for help in a humble and gracious manner and good friends will go above and beyond to make your dreams a reality. Ask well in advance so that people have plenty of time to do a good job on the task you've asked them to do and things will be done to your satisfaction. Ask far enough in advance so that if people decline you'll have time to find someone else to do the task. Brides who make demands, even if they seem reasonable to the bride, are less likely to receive cooperation from friends or vendors. Be sweet. Be polite. Be flexible. Be prepared for some criticism of your chosen colors. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.