The Cake Topper

How important is the cake topper? Well, it’s as important as a couple wants to make it. Our feeling was that it should reflect the bride and groom and bring to mind their love and devotion to one another. Let’s face it, if you have a wedding cake the topper will be a focal point, so it’s a good idea to make it something romantic and in good taste.

I’ll be honest -- I almost included cake toppers in my “One Time Use Items” entry because the traditional cake topper has only one other use aside from becoming a cherished knick-knack. Should it survive the years it will be a charming addition to the couple’s 50th anniversary cake. With this in mind, I’d like to suggest that a bride and groom pick something they both enjoy looking at which can be used as a decoration in their home after the wedding.

My daughter and I spent several days looking at cake toppers online. Once again we were stunned by what we found. Aside from the traditional bride and groom standing side by side, there were dozens of cake toppers featuring couples in various “comical” poses. Sadly, most of them were demeaning to the groom! Now some people might find it funny to put a figure of a bride tying up the groom in order to hold him on the top of their cake. We didn’t. Nor did we find the bride standing alone with her fist in the air amusing. The bride holding the groom's pants, indicating who wears the pants in the family, while the groom sheepishly stands by in his underwear was not funny. Neither was the groom standing alone by a sign that says, "Gone shopping" which is actually just as demeaning to the bride. There was even a cake topper with an obviously pregnant bride and the groom with his hand on her belly. *heavy sigh*  I could go on but I won't.

Putting the tasteless toppers aside, traditional cake toppers are readily available, but many of them have the cheap look of a mass produced item. Now, if a bride is going to bother spending money on a nice cake, why stick something on top that resembles a pair of Kewpie Dolls? I’m certainly not advocating spending a lot of money on the cake topper – I think fresh flowers look wonderful on top of a wedding cake – I’m just saying that if you’re going to bother with one, why not get something unique and well made?

Some of the nicer non-traditional cake toppers we saw were of couples enjoying various activities together. In particular, I liked the one of the groom pitching to a batting bride. Or the groom on skis with the bride piggy-back. There were brides ‘n grooms riding in cars, on motorcycles, and on horseback. There was also one of the groom on the top of the cake kneeling down to give the bride a hand up from the second tier. Charming!

Because my daughter likes to collect frog figurines, we considered for a time a cake topper that showed the bride kissing a tiny frog who was wearing a gold crown. The complimentary piece to this one was of the groom in a tux with frog feet. While we thought these were cute, our groom vetoed them as “dumb”. Fair enough. We were already a little concerned that guests might think the whole frog thing wasn’t a bit of a put-down to the groom even if the frog was a prince. Anyway, it didn’t take them long to choose a large figurine from the Willow Tree collection and decide, instead of putting it on top of the cake, to simply position it on the cake table surrounded by floating tiers of the cake. The cake itself would be topped with fresh flowers.

"Together" by Willow Tree

If a bride wants to do away with figures altogether there are bells and doves, photo frames and monograms, tiny fountains and even balloons that can go on top of a cake. A couple might even choose to use the cake topper of their parents or grandparents for sentimental reasons. The choices are literally endless!

A final word and just my opinion: some of the alleged “humorous” cake toppers did make me chuckle when I first looked at them. Then I thought of my daughter and the good man she was marrying. How funny would it be to put one of these mean-spirited figures on their cake? Whether the cake topper cynically implies that the groom doesn’t really want to be there or that the bride is out of control, these do not honor the couple or marriage. I’m willing to risk the ridicule of those who will accuse me of not having a sense of humor and say that a wedding is not the time or the place to be mean-spirited. Save the crass toppers for the bachelor party. Let the cake topper be a delightful symbol of your true love, not a bad joke. Just my opinion…