Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Bride's Troubleshooting Manual

Rest assured, something will go wrong on The Day, Because of this, a lot of magazines and web sites tell brides to have an emergency kit of some sort containing everything from safety pins to duct tape. It’s good advice. I’ll admit, I didn’t have one (making one got lost in the hustle and bustle), but thankfully I didn't need one.

Still, despite the Emergency Kit being a good idea, there are very few specific examples of what can or has gone wrong at a wedding. So, Ta-Dah!! Here is a list of my bumps and hitches and their fixes.

The Problem: I outgrew my dress 48 hours before The Day. The most horrifying experience I had was when we tried on The Dress and couldn’t zip it past my waist. It still fit in the hips and bust, same as ever, but had become too small for my waist. I think this is every bride’s worst nightmare. 
Our Fix: We let the waist seam out two inches (one inch on each side). If you have a seamstress in the family, this is not as catastrophic an event as you might think (aside from the psychological havoc – both of being too big and having one more problem to fix so soon to The Day), since most wedding dresses have an extra seam allowance for alterations. If you don’t have a seamstress handy, local department stores have a vast array of slimming underwear available for semi-reasonable prices that might do the trick. (Note: these fixes only apply if you are slightly too big for the gown... if you have completely outgrown your dress and can't get it on at all, I don't know how to help.)
A Better Fix: Don’t wait until 48 hours before The Day to try on your gown or try it on at the tailor’s shop when you pick it up. Giving yourself a little more time and having a professional handy will eliminate this problem entirely.

The Problem: All my fingernails ripped off the week before The Day. Whether through stress or work, I lost every fingernail, despite my best efforts. It made me very sad and more than a little frustrated.
The Fix: Buy press-on nails. We went to the local drug store and bought some pretty nails. Since I had never used them before, I had some problems gluing them on. So, buy an extra pack and a big bottle of nail polish remover and DON’T attempt to put them on at one o’clock in the morning. After several tries and a whine-fest to my mom, I did get them on to my satisfaction. Looking back, I’d say that putting on nails is a two-person job, so get help.

The Problem: We got locked out of the church. When we arrived two hours before the ceremony, we couldn’t get in to get ready. The Elders had locked it after their meeting (a few of them were still in the parking lot). Alas, no one had a key.
The Fix: Call someone who has a key and don’t panic. Easier said than done, I know. Thankfully, my mom had keys.

The Problem: Running Late. In this case, My Maid of Honor and I were on time, but my mom was, as she put it, “running exponentially late” everywhere she needed to be. This meant that she was a long way away with the keys to the church and she still had to run home to pick up the dresses and flowers.
The Fix: Lend a Hand. Since we were just waiting around outside a locked church, I told Mom to just come straight there to unlock it and my cousin and I would run home to pick up the dresses and flowers. This enabled Mom to get back on track and kept me from pacing nervously while waiting for someone to arrive and let us in.

The Problem: We forgot The Rings, The Marriage License, and Miscellaneous Other Things. Yeah… That was fun. Nothing like a small dose of panic right before pictures.
The Fix: Call someone to fetch it or go without.  In the case of the rings, the Beloved Husband called his dad, who was still at their house, to bring them. In the case of the marriage license, I called the Beloved Husband to run and fetch it from my house. And, in the case of my pearl necklace, I called home (hoping to catch the Beloved Husband) and found that Mom was there because she was running late, so she brought it with her. Sadly, we all forgot my tiara, so I went without it. My veil looked lovely anyways. In the end, even if you have to use someone else’s rings or have the marriage license signed the next day, you will be no less married at the end of The Day.

The Problem: My dress tore at the reception. Luckily, it was just the seam-tape on the lining of an under-layer, so it wasn’t noticeable at all. I had torn a small hole in it when my heel snagged on it earlier. That hole got caught on a chair leg and pulled out. 
The Fix: Here’s where you want that Emergency Kit. In my case, all we did was snip the loose seam-tape at the ends and I went on as usual. I gave it to a young friend as a “souvenir” (she now owns a piece of The Dress) which caused us both to laugh. If the rip is noticeable, however, I’d say use a safety pin, get someone to do a quick whip-stitch, and hope that it holds.

The Problem: Our sound system malfunctioned. Thankfully, this did NOT happen to me. It did, however, happen to my cousin at her wedding reception.
The Fix: Have a good attitude about it. She and her husband danced their first dance with no music. It really was very sweet. After that, they posed for an exaggerated sad-face photo. I think we eventually found an old boom box and used that to provide other dance tunes.

So there we are, fixes to problems we have faced. These kinds of problems are annoying as all get-out, but they can’t ruin your day unless you let them. Like I said earlier – in spite of whatever may go wrong, you’ll be no less married at the end of it all.

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