Planning a wedding can be a simple but challenging task, or it can be a catastrophic battle between reality and fantasy. And brides can expect little help from the wedding “industry” in keeping it simple. As we quickly discovered, it’s an industry that is literally out of control. With regard to my daughter and myself, it is also out of touch. With the exception of hair and make-up suggestions, we learned early on to disregard just about all the tips and advice in wedding magazines published both online and off. Brides would do better to consult tried and true etiquette books written by Miss Manners or Emily Post than rely on the guidelines put forth in magazines. For one thing, the magazines’ main reason for existing is to promote and sell an endless variety of chichi stuff that has little or nothing to do with weddings -- stuff they’re obviously hoping will catch on. If I read the words “must have” one more time I was going to scream! But what is a wedding anyway?
Thankfully, my daughter and I have a fairly traditional idea of what a wedding is and is not. For us a wedding is a solemn religious ceremony witnessed by dear family and friends followed by a festive celebration. The ceremony is not about the bride or the groom, it's about marriage. It’s a meaningful social ritual wherein two people join their lives together, often before God and other witnesses. This doesn’t mean that it must be grim, but rather that it should be taken seriously. At no point did we feel obligated to "entertain" our guests at the ceremony. Why detract from the beauty of such a significant event with a lot of extraneous show? We assumed that the joy of seeing the happy couple united in marriage would provide enough of a reason for people to attend. ;)
On the flip side: a popular video on YouTube at the time showed a fully choreographed wedding procession with the wedding party dancing down the aisle to snappy pop music. Everyone seemed to be having a great time! I had to wonder, though, what it took to get the fathers, mothers, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and groom to cavort down the aisle? Perhaps the entire family runs a dance school? Perhaps they all had a good stiff drink beforehand? And I wondered how they could possibly transition smoothly into a serious marriage ceremony after such a show-stopping entry? Happily, these are not questions I have to answer! :)
Most brides will have plenty on their plate without having to cajole the wedding party into doing anything above and beyond simply showing up on time. Now, to be fair, if everyone is in agreement, do what you want, but no bride should feel obligated to put on a big show during the ceremony. Save it for the reception. Then again, I would hate for my guests to feel like a captive audience.
In closing, brides can save themselves a LOT of headaches if they keep the ideas simple and use common sense. That’s what this blog is all about really – simplicity translating into elegance and delight.
For the bride who wants to stage an extravaganza, this blog will be of limited use to you, but we do wish you much joy and success in your wedding!
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